The Proof is in the Practice

Last October, I embarked on two distinct (yet very related) practices that have since changed my life. And not just internally changed — I mean, I have specific physical repercussions that continue to emerge even today. But the physical effects are actually the later manifestations of actions that began as new a-ha’s of understanding in the mind — they are just the effects of specific thoughts, words and actions I have started re-programming in myself.

The first practice stems directly from the Reiki Shinpiden course I took with Frans and Bronwen Steine of The International House of Reiki. This course changed everything about how I understand Reiki as a practitioner and now teacher (as it has for everyone I’ve met who has taken this course) — the Steines have done tremendous work on themselves in accordance with the true, pure path of Reiki, and have dedicated themselves to bringing its roots to light for those of us who first learned Reiki as it evolved (or as some may say, devolved?) in the West. They have helped clear away the brambles of confusion about what Reiki really was in its origins and can be today, and I felt so much lighter and clearer and more focused after that weekend course. I will not delve too deeply into my experience with Shinpiden, other than to recommend that other Reiki practitioners of Level II or above take this course with the Steines when they are presented with the opportunity, and to also comment that because of this course, my personal Reiki practice now breathes with me. It is not stagnant; it is an ancient tool I can access for my own growth and empowerment. The more I practice and work on myself, on a daily basis with commitment and discipline and understanding, the more I can access the Reiki energy within myself, and clear the flow of my energy stream.

Word of the second practice, outlined in a book, arrived to me first via my friend, Sarah, last summer, but I chose then to put off reading it, for whatever reason. During Shinpiden, a fellow classmate mentioned the same book Sarah had raved about, and I knew it finally was time to read it. This book is The Diamond Cutter: The Buddha on Managing Your Business and Your Life, by Geshe Michael Roach. Somewhat controversial in traditional Buddhist circles due to its unconventional approach to Buddhist principles, primarily because Roach packages the message with a (very non-Buddhist) material bent to draw in a Western, non-Buddhist audience (along the lines of “Want to make more money and be more successful? Then understand and implement these principles into a daily personal practice.”), the book nonetheless helped me understand very clearly how the universe, and energy itself, works with us and our actions, words and thoughts. I had an interest in but only periphery understanding of Buddhist principles (via limited studies of what Master Usui brought to the system of Reiki), so being able to read about these Buddhist principles as they can be applied in our Western society of ingrained commercialism and business truly opened an entirely new understanding and application for me.

That is understating this book’s impact on me, though. The teachings in this book have gripped me in such an awakening, and as I started applying them as I read, I began to notice subtle, and then not-so-subtle shifts. First these shifts occurred only in my mind. I started paying attention to my thoughts much more than I used to (and I am normally on the introspective side to begin with), but more than just acknowledging each thought running through my mind, I started transforming the kinds of thoughts that would arise. A message at the core of this book is that reality can be perceived in many different ways, depending on one’s perspective. What I may perceive as “bad” may be perceived by another as actually quite a good thing for them. So essentially, effects are neither good nor bad. They just are. To take this a step further, whatever I perceive right now is based on a past thought, word or action of mine. If I did something good for someone in the past, I will at some point be able to see and perceive someone doing something good for me. Or if I acted out of anger toward someone in the past, I at some point will perceive someone acting out of anger toward me. For another example: if I want to be successful in my endeavors, I should recognize and express gratitude as much as possible (sound familiar, all those following “The Secret”?). And these past actions (and our current actions now that later become “past” actions!) magnify and ripple out like waves on a pond — kind of like the power of compounding interest when investing money, only in this we invest energy! And I can take full responsibility for my reality, by first understanding the nature of how this works, and then implementing the principles and monitoring myself. Since I do not want someone to be angry toward me, I can cultivate a peaceful, compassionate mind that bypasses anger. Instead of allowing myself to become upset or angry because of some external circumstance, which puts me in the role of victim, I can instead understand situations as 1) effects of my past actions, and 2) opportunities to end the cycle of violence and plant positive seeds for my own (and others’) futures. Even more, I can then consciously plant positive seeds (what Roach calls “Imprints”) to cultivate a positive perception of my reality for the future. To me, this concept sums up the true meaning of a word that has been thrown around incorrectly under other definitions and confused the hell out of many people, including me: Karma.

Sound simple? Well, it kind of is. But to really understand the concept and the whys of it all, I do suggest you read the actual book, which delves much deeper and into more areas than I just did in my simplistic overview. Roach outlines many different areas on which one can focus, and recommends that we work with a few at a time, and keep track daily, and even more than daily, in a notebook, our progress. Not to judge or feel bad, but to really track ourselves, in each moment.

I feel like so much has shifted since I read The Diamond Cutter and started consciously implementing new imprints. And to tie this back into my new understanding of Reiki as a personal practice, this truly gave me a greater depth of understanding of Reiki’s first precept, “Do not anger.” This book has quickly become a number-one handbook — as my friend, Sarah, says, this book should be required reading by anyone who has a life — or basically, everyone!

Between Shinpiden and The Diamond Cutter, my perspective, and in turn, life, has truly changed, and the way I approach everything is so much lighter, with so much greater awareness of imprints and present actions. From even the first day I started implementing not only what I learned in Shinpiden, but also 3 of the principles I focused on from the book, I started noticing the difference. Impacts in my daily life: My life (some aspects of which I used to view as an annoyance and with not just a little frustration) started to feel so much simpler. People whose actions and words once had a tendency to really get under my skin soon became…still there, with them probably still acting in the same manner as before, but my reaction became so much more compassionate, and so much more focused on my own actions and what I bring to the table in each moment. I started to feel that in taking responsibility for every moment as a co-contributor, I could be so much more empowered — and free — to create the positive side I wanted. I let go of attachment to specific outcomes of what I thought I wanted, and instead just focused on what I could control — my thoughts, words and actions, and how to more closely embody the Reiki precepts and the principles of The Diamond Cutter.  Two months later, after I had decided (after reading The Diamond Cutter) to not run from my job, but to stay and work on myself instead, a recruiter called me, seemingly out of the blue. “Oh, I’m not looking for anything right now,” I said, and meant it. But I listened to what she had to offer, in case something sounded right for a friend. And then she mentioned what could be a dream job for me in my design field. It was a stretch from what I was doing at the time, but it was something about which I was and am passionate, and something I can be really great at.

And now? Now I am working at that dream job. I’m working on myself with my daily practices: those from my new Reiki studies, and the tracking of my thoughts and words and actions in accordance with principles outlined in The Diamond Cutter. And I am re-reading the book again.

A Call to Write

I have been called to write. Writing is an idea that once upon a time floated around in my mind very quietly, like a soft whispery nudge, which I noticed as almost an afterthought but shrugged to one side, thinking, “maybe in another lifetime – I would rather live my life than just write about it in this one.” Every once in a while, the impulse would work its way out of the trunk of wonderful ideas for the “future” where I had stashed it and reappear to me, and although I might play with it a bit, sooner rather than later I would tuck it away once more. Yet once again I have received the message to write, this time not so quiet in its urging. And my first reactions to it, my first quite conscious thoughts, are two: I am terrified. And this time, I must not ignore it.

Why so resistant? The first excuse – um wait, reason (riiight) for the paralysis returns to the thought that if I am writing, about my life or others\’, I am taking that much time away from the living part of it. (And in the past, I actually talked myself into believing this laze and fear induced “logic.”) The second reason for the heart-lurching compulsion to hide rather than commit to writing and more significantly, to sharing that writing (which turns out to be the raw nerve behind excuse number one)? Basically, baring myself so publicly, so permanently in ink (or in this case, into the vast annals of the ever-expanding world wide web), scares the wit out of me. You mean I have to sign my name to it? Relinquish anonymity? Make a solid stand for something other than the hot fashion item of the season, clear way the path for and even invite judgment (on my thoughts as well as my writing)? Ah, step out of the shadows and bring on the boldness.

If not for boldness, then for what is a life given? The trillion dollar question that will not subside until I properly address it. I think it has something to do with this daring adventure – with claiming ourselves and our space, courageously and without apologies. I\’m not going to insist that I was born to write above all else – there are definitely people out there who were born with such a gift, and I am not one of them. I do have something to contribute, though, and perhaps writing about my ideas and thoughts is a part of it. In expanding an answer to the question about the purpose of a life: As Joseph Campbell would say, it\’s about finding and then following one\’s bliss. For me, I believe this to be a particular reveling in exploration, growth, and figuring out just how to consciously, creatively and joyously manifest my internal being into the physical world. My bliss has been guiding me to delve into topics of soul awareness and some of the other more esoteric, mystic realms as they affect our connections with ourselves and with each other.

And why writing, specifically? It can magnify self-awareness, thereby clarifying the vision I hold for my life – and a more specific vision yields a more specific outcome. Through my journey and studies, particularly over this last year of working toward the level of Reiki Master, I learn more and more everyday that we create our lives – through our beliefs and our thought forms. Our time here is not just about the physical reality, and everything is not necessarily as it seems upon first glance. Rather, the inner reality affects the outer. From thoughts and beliefs, dreams mingled into sleeping and waking lives, the subconscious and then also the psyche, the soul, the part of us that exists outside time and space and without these bodies we occupy, it is from this inner reality that we manifest our outer realities, not to mention our physical bodies that live within and according to the rules of time and space. Except sometimes we may get so caught up in the dramas of the physical manifestations that we lose sight of where they all began – the inner realm. By directing more focus to the awareness of our core selves and our inner realities (particularly to awareness of the thoughts contributing to our core beliefs) – through writing, meditating, creativity, art, astrology, tarot or any number of other means of self-discovery and awareness, we can improve the content and quality of our physical reality – because, again, we manifest our physical reality through our very consciousness and beliefs.

In a grander scheme, just as our time in these bodies is not only about the outer, physical reality, neither is it only about our individual selves and close circles. Each individual action ripples out and affects everyone and everything – from our physical planet and universe to our psychically connected web of existence as a whole. What\’s more, in these times of ours, perhaps the stakes are a bit higher, and call for a responsibility for more than just the self. Yes, it is imperative to start with that man in the mirror, to work on ourselves since we can only really control our individual selves. Yet perhaps we can do so with a greater cognizance, and initiate communication and connection, increase awareness, act and inspire action and reassessment of core beliefs, and focus on and create what we really want instead of what we fear.

Which brings me to a more personal “why” for facing it this time, for trusting the instruction and leaping without necessarily knowing if it will take me up, across or down into a murky chasm. There is a personal urgency now. It seems that through writing, I have a small window of opportunity in which I can ignite and launch my vision for my life, and through doing so, make much needed connections with others, (this according to a Saturn Return conversation one Monday evening nearly a month ago during a consultation with Eric Francis, of Planet Waves renown). I realize some people (strike that – many people, including myself during occasional lapses into self-doubt) have yet to embrace the many modes of intuition available to and in all of us, and might regard the root of my intent and urgency as a bit of astrological brainwashing. Yet I felt in my body and soul that Eric had struck a nerve. I knew in my core there was something very important there, which I had very definitely been avoiding – and for that very reason must face head on, fear or not.

Perhaps because of the urgency involved, during this conversation with Eric (and at the risk of overindulgent dramatics) I felt as if I had been called upon not just to write, but to take a step closer in fulfilling a quest – part of the mission on my path in this life. I felt a bit like Frodo Baggins may have felt as he stepped forward and accepted the task of carrying the ring to the edge of Mount Doom, facing the void, and flinging the ring into its dark heart, hopefully without losing himself in the process. For me, it will be facing the dark heart of myself, which in this case I regard not as a matter of good versus evil, but instead one of confronting my fear and bringing some of the more shrouded and hidden aspects to the surface for air, and then stepping forward and taking responsibility as one of the co-creators of our collective existence (for we are all, each of us, co-creators). Here is an opportunity to take action through ideas, and connect with others to confront and transform the darker realities in our world, our work rippling out from our personal, individual selves to the local level, and beyond.

Except unlike Frodo, I do not have the burden of saving the world at the risk of losing my life. Or do I? In a way, I do; we all do, on myriad levels, at the very least in terms of creating the lives we desire. There are a lot of really dark, not so pleasant things happening out there in our world, affecting and claiming lives, to which we on some level individually and collectively contribute. (Need I mention our tainted political leaders? Or the societal undercurrent that insists happiness and greater well-being are directly proportional to how much we consume? As much as we may repudiate them, they represent some portion of our collective beliefs. Once we all make ourselves aware of and confront our beliefs within, we can then consciously create and manifest the higher vision we seek as it is represented within us.) All is not lost. We all collectively contribute to the positive, and have the ability to create even more positive out there. Again, it starts with our beliefs, which inform our thoughts, shape our moods and perspectives, and seep over from the mental and emotional planes into the very physical reality we form by the choices we make, the words we speak and the actions we take in each moment. If writing about it allows me to connect with others, even if only on the mental level, then perhaps others will also examine their own individual core beliefs further.

So I am choosing to confront the fear of scrutiny, take responsibility, and write. Scary stuff, actually looking within and holding up what I find as a mirror in front of me. Scary and freeing and transformational – at least that is the hope and intention, if I push a little bit and trust. Although my intentions will likely evolve as I do, for now the aim of writing is to openly and honestly bare parts of myself and my experiences with energy work, as a Reiki practitioner and in day-to-day living in general (and really, it\’s all energy, right?). I am interested in the personal journey and discovery of soul in its infinite forms and as it directly correlates to our physical reality. I seek to create greater awareness (in myself at the very least) regarding the nature of consciously creating our realities via the energy that composes and surrounds us. Perhaps there are others out there (and I think there are) who seek similar ideas and paths and connections. What I am thirsting for is not necessarily rigid, absolute “fact,” final answers or authoritative edicts, but rather explorations to burst open curiosity, creativity, and playfulness, ideas to ignite passions, growth and transformation, and energetic connections to spark the soul.